I thank God I found a life partner that has decided our journey will always be marked to a direction where God will always be our focus. Every year, we try our best to re-charge and get into a Christian leadership conference anywhere in the world. We are committed that if we are to stay focus and keep everything that God has given, we need some fueling along the way. This year was finally the year we get to go to Hillsong Conference. We were supposed to have gone last year but the visa came a few days after the conference. I believe God really wanted us to be in the conference this year and hence we prepared the flight to head to the continent “down under”. Being in a new place will always be an adventure. The verse in Jeremiah says “you will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you.” If you keep your heart open to finding God, I can guarantee you, God shows up in the journey.
I came in without any expectations for I have never been in a Creative Leadership type of conference. All I knew they are at the forefront of making Jesus known through music across the globe and I knew God would not send us down under if He will not make himself known to John and me.
The opening night of the conference, I already felt the presence of the Lord move mightily in the place. I got a glimpse of heaven. When you see people from every nation come together to worship God in an arena declaring that there is “NO OTHER NAME” that is famous, bigger, powerful, life-giving than JESUS, you will find yourself getting down on your knees praising and thanking God that HE IS THE ALMIGHTY LIVING GOD. That night, the Lord impressed in my heart to come to the conference with my VEIL off. We all have a veil. When people ask how you are doing- there will always be a ready “Miss Universe” answer: “God is good, I’m good. Everything is fine.” Many of us today will never really reveal the deepest darkest sin, struggles and hurts we face. I guess we are afraid that if it did come out in the open, people would judge us.
The Lord was ripping me open that night: “Monique, tell me what’s in your heart.” I could not explain it but I was shaking in my being and I began to cry. I poured out my heart to the Lord:
Lord here I am. You have my full attention.
I am yours.
I long for your leading because I cannot SEE where I am heading. From where we stand, it seems like a long and winding road, is this the right path? Lead my husband; lead my family and lead me. This sense of uncertainty makes me restless. You have set out a plan for us – and yet there is this feeling that were getting nowhere.
I came here discouraged. But I keep telling myself “I am fine and I know I am fine, because You are with me.”
But now you are asking what’s inside my heart. I will blurt it out but please don’t take it against me:
My husband and I work hard to declare your name in everything that we do. But reality strikes and the truth is we also get discouraged and tired along the way.
We feel the hits the most when we experience injustice in the business world. We do honest work and yet we are the ones that are being extorted.
We also get hurt and low when we see people we love and care for come and go, and some really walk away from you.
So yes Lord, these are aches in my heart but despite everything, it really does not matter because I have you.
My fears? I know you know it but I don’t want it to be known.
(I wrestled a bit longer) But you are asking me to humble my spirit – so here it is:
Lord, my heart cries out for you to bless my family. Bless my marriage always that we will keep walking in your ways. Bless my children and their future spouse and family. Lord you know how I pray for my children. Please Lord, give them a heart that will love you first and love you always. I know what it is like to be apart from you. I will be crushed if one day they will draw away from you. I claim your words and promises of a godly legacy.
I seek for your strength in the passions and dreams you have given me.
Lord, continue to equip me and be faithful in homeschooling, in leadership, in empowering women in every stage of their life, in creativity and every big and small thing you have called me. I pray that you will give me a fresh vision to do greater things that will have global impact for you.
But, if you strip everything away, please know that in my heart, I desire nothing but you.
So the Lord met me in that arena, through the preaching of Steven Furtick, without my veil on. I was vulnerable and real to my Maker. I knew that night, as I was there weak and low, he was ready to pick me up and let me see HIS glory and grace revealed in my life.
There was a sense of relief and peace when I confessed every feeling and thought that I have kept in my heart. As I took off my veil, I was ready to receive from Jesus. I was able to let go of my baggage, my fears, my pains, my disappointments, my passions and my dreams. I realized that this was Gods plan. It was only when I came honest and broken before Him, I was able to release the blockage that hindered me from hearing Him clearly.
What’s most amazing about taking the veil off – is that God knows how to build up his people. Everyday in the conference, God was encouraging me and giving me clearer directions and vision. He spoke to my heart about resting in His presence, about seasons of life, dealing with crisis and about not giving up as we are walking with Him. He reminded me we are surrounded with an army of people who love God the same way we do and that the work before us is His finished work, therefore we should not stop because He has already finished the work ahead of us.
Everyone has a veil on and it comes in different texture. For some of us we wear the veil of pride. We cannot admit we are wrong, flawed and ultimately we need a Savior. Other veils are filled with wanting the approval of men. You want everyone to see that you are good and you work to get them to like you. The veil of deception is the one that is so hard to notice but other people can see. Its easier to believe what you want to hear instead of hearing the truth. The lies, fantasies and false hope bring people to remain in sin, in wrong relationships and will end up compromising. There are thicker veils too and this one is the veil of unbelief. This veil works on your own strength and ways and denies Jesus to be the author of your life.
Today, as the start of the week, I challenge you to take off your veil. You see, we have an everlasting God who loves us unconditionally. He sees us for who we can become in Christ and not just who we are now. He understands your situation, your pain and your struggles. He wants you to strip off and just show the real you. The Lord is calling you by name and He wants to show you His plans for your life.
If you want a fresh revelation, start here. Take off your veil. Experience God speak life into you today.