Whenever I drive to Makati, I usually listen to Podcasts. However, this morning it was different, I decided to just pray. Though not the exact words, here was my prayer:
Lord, I’ve been serving you the past years. I’ve told you time and time again, I’m willing to give up everything for you just make it clear cause I don’t want to be taking leap of faiths which I’ll discover you didn’t ask me to take in the first place.
Also Lord, can I get a sort of affirmation that I’m doing ok? Like the way I feedback my apprentices, or workers whenever they do things for me. I’m not asking for big or out of this world signs. Even for me just to see a butterfly (sorry it was the best i could think of cause i was already getting emotional). I’m not giving up… I just need to know I’m doing good.
With everything crumbling before me, sometimes I’m questioning if this is really the path you want me to take? I’m losing good people, I’m not winning bids, not hitting sales targets, I’m sometimes even doubting if you really wanted me to start a church. Pllleeeaasseee Lord, tell me.
Then I began to sing an 80s new wave song, one of my fave ones… “Dear God, is there somebody out there? Is there someone to hear my prayer.” Then I went back praying, Lord, I don’t doubt you… it’s just that you’ve been so silent recently and I’ve been lost in terms of direction for the past 4 years. I don’t think what i’m asking for right now is too much.
and with that I began to cry…
Have you ever felt that way? I described it to my accountability partners as driving on a street that you’d like to go full speed but you can’t cause you don’t know if you’re on the right road in the first place…
Then I head home… and a corner away, when I was almost home, cars block the intersection not allowing me to turn left. Since its only a 2 lane street, I am forced to go straight and make a long drive around the block. Then something catches my attention… Is this God’s sign? It just made me laugh that I had to stop and take a picture of it. I think I need to ask you… Is this God’s sign? Comments are very much welcome.
Perhaps God still says yes to our cries for signs even in his humorous way.