What kids need nowadays from their Parents
Just heard that yesterday a 15-year-old girl jumped from Sanctuarium. While that was probably happening, I was meeting my couples group in El Pueblo, Ortigas talking about the suicide that happened in St. Paul Pasig where the girl that committed suicide even dragged a friend down her death. What kind of world are we raising our children in? Where did the parents of generation go wrong to produce such a weak batch of teens? As I was in the shower this morning the Lord led me to a verse that I should share in an ounce of faith.
I am speaking to the parents… let’s learn from our owner’s manual — the bible. Let’s learn from the experience of Jesus himself. At age 30, Jesus was baptized by John in Jordan River and as soon as He got out of the water in Matthew 3:17 it says “And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.””
This is probably where parents of this generation have lacked… Parents (especially Fathers) have become so busy, either in their work, business or simply on their mobile phones, that they have failed to assure their children of these 3 important things, and if God needed to remind Jesus of these, then perhaps we should do the same:
A. This is my Son – I learned in our counseling class, that during the teenage years, their brain goes through a lot of reorganization. it is during this time that all those things their parents taught them during their toddler years get validated “Dad said ______ is wrong… Is it really wrong? let’s go see.” They are not good in assessing danger or setting limits. It is in this stage, that they are trying to find who they are and their identity.
Remind your children who they are. That regardless of what they do, their Identity does not change. Problem is, if the parents themselves have identity issues, what kind of identity will they pass on?
B. Whom I love – In these days and age of “EMO” people, perhaps because of being so overly connected digitally that people have become so physically disconnected, I believe there is no other time that a real affirmation of LOVE is needed. Just look at how much being “LIKED” is so important. When people post something on Social media, their gauge of being accepted is in the # of likes. Weird right?
Kids nowadays need constant assurance that they are loved no matter what. This EMO generation when they get scolded feel so much depression. Perhaps that is why
If you’ve never heard of “LOVE LANGUAGE” learn it (I had a previous post on it before). Basically, it says you can show love 5 different ways — by saying it, by touching, by giving, by spending time and by serving. Get to know what works with your child and show it.
C. with Him I am well pleased – Kids nowadays go through so much stress. Again, I learned in Child Psychology, that because we are in the digital and social media age, the stress that kids go through in a year is equivalent to is equivalent to the stress I went through in my entire teenage year. Why? because back then, I could easily go somewhere far and isolate myself. Nowadays, people even bring their cell phones when they take a dump or take a bath. Before, when you go on a retreat, you were disconnected from the world. Nowadays, even inside the classroom people could message you.
So all of these has contributed to a performance-driven society. Kids now feel “I am not good enough” so it is best especially when kids fail (in grade, in love life or they get rejected in class) that we as parents are there to encourage and tell them “It’s ok…. I am still proud of you” but How can we do this when many families don’t even get to eat together?
So that’s about it… I got much much more to share but we need to go to a planning seminar in Pampanga. If you have questions, just post them below and I will answer them as soon as I can.