This morning when I woke up. I saw pair of dirty socks that my 4 year old son had used the night before on the floor. I got so emotional because I remembered how it got dirty. The night prior he didn’t want me to go to the concert which we were organizing without him. Despite the fact it was late, he was sleepy and would rather stay home and watch cartoons, nothing was more important for him than to spend time with me and He was willing to let go of whatever he wants to spend time. These socks tell the tale of how he walked and ran around that dusty field. The time he was just sitting on my lap while we sat on the ground watching the band Alibata play. That as I walked back and forth from back stage to the tech booth, he was there trailing me and we ended the night with a shakey’s midnight snack.
Then I looked at him sleeping and heard him snoring… I snore when I’m tired the day prior and I know it’s the same with him. Poor fellow. He’s been partying with me nightly till past 12 for the past 5 nights. I found myself tearing as I prayed “Lord, how I wish this stage won’t pass and I hope that you will never give me anything that would take me away from this lovely family too long.” but I know that this stage in their life that they’re craving for my time and attention wouldn’t last for so long. In a few years time, they would rather be playmates than me and in a few more years, they would have boy friend / girl friends and then eventually their own families. I pray that now, when it counts, when I am in a position to make a great impact on them, I can be a great father.
The other night, while we were chatting in bed, he asked me why I’m so big and he’s so small. I explained that I’m already old and he’s just starting his life and our discussion eventually led to topics like “Someday I’ll die and most probably i’ll go ahead of you since i’m older” he began to disagree and said “No daddy, I don’t like you to die ahead of me. Lets just die together.” So sweet… but I had to tell him the truth that its all up to God and it is not in my position to say yes.