A few blogs ago, I wrote about “Not rushing love.” So many people commented about never ever having a boyfriend (in short, NBSB) because they are waiting for the right one. I am truly inspired and blessed every time I hear about the existence of those kinds of people but It also makes me wonder,… Are these people looking for love? Are they making it easy for Mr. Right to spot them? Or are they actually asking for a miracle?Regardless of whether you’ve never had a boyfriend or have had several, I pray that this guide will help you find Mr. Right – Someone who will love you for who you are, take care of you and not make you cry. Though these steps do not guarantee that you would find him, I am betting my life that it will greatly increase the chances of you finding each other. Take note though, that this also increases your exposure to “wolves.” So be extra careful. Don’t try and implement these without reading my “Don’t Rush Love” article over and over. The only way to avoid these wolves in sheep’s clothing is by getting to know them, not by having a few dates but through time. Here goes:1. Fix yourself first!
Once, I wanted to sell my CRV. It never got a paint job since year 2003 when I got it. Every bump and scratch I encountered was still there. I posted it online and guess what? Every time someone would check it out, they’d offer me a price that was way lower than the market price with less the cost to repair. So I decided to get it fixed first.l That’s how it should be when you’re looking for Mr. Right – fix yourself up. Stop looking like you’ve just gone bankrupt or a mess.

A lot of people expect that they’ll be fixed when Mr. Right comes. Big Mistake! Remember that no one else can make you happy so be happy with yourself first! Here are some areas you can fix:

a. Your body – Get fit. Look good. Ask true friends to comment about the way you dress.

However, accept yourself for who you are but don’t use that as an excuse to let yourself go sloppy either. Some men actually like a woman with a little meat on her bones. Big can be beautiful if you manage things correctly. Don’t try so hard to be someone you are not.

b. Financial Stability – If you don’t have money, you can’t date. Even if you’re a girl, you can’t just count on the guy to treat you out every time you go out.

c . Your Character – Are you lovable character wise? Would you go out with you? You might wanna fix those negative attitudes before dating. Some of them include pretensions, selfishness, greed, gossip, negativity…

d. Dump Mr. or Ms. “for the meantime” if they’re still in your life – You’ll be much more successful in meeting someone appropriate if you’re not carrying around the anchor of a previous relationship. Move on First!

2. Know what you like in a man/woman

Have you ever tried going to the grocery store and not knowing what you need? Chances are, you’ll miss the ones you need most and end up buying something that you didn’t need in the first place. So don’t be afraid to make a list. It makes him easier to spot when he comes around. Here are some suggestions to help you think: Faith Belief (important), family background, financial stability, looks & lifestyle. Remember to make room for flaws, no one is perfect. Tip: For me, the #1 requirement should be God-fearing!
3. Expose yourself!a. Cultivate a wide circle of friends. Don’t be a snob. When you go out, make ready some calling cards. Check on your old classmates and start to hangout once again.

b. Get into different activities. Don’t limit yourself with those gender-based ones. For example: if you’re a woman, try male dominated sports like billiards, muay thai or motocross. If you’re a man, try female dominated sports like zumba or yoga.

My recommendation: Attend church singles retreats… Victory and Christ Commission Fellowship are one of the biggest churches in the Philippines and they organize many “single only” events. I’m not saying everyone you meet there is ok. But its a good place to start.

c. Go to social activities like home comings, get togethers and birthday parties.

Warning on meeting people in bars: I’ve had friends complain about consistently ending up with wrong people that are drunkards, drug users etc. When asked how they met them, they say they met in a bar. Usually, the place determines the type of person you meet. You meet godly men in church, intellectuals in libraries, businessmen in rotary meetings and active guys in gyms. If I were you, I’d avoid bars.

d. Dating sites & events like speed dating.

For me, though a lot of people look down on people who use these because they seem desperate, I really see nothing wrong with it. It’s ok to be open to matchmaking services. However, just like any avenue for meeting new friends, always exercise precaution especially when the other party knows that people they find on these services are actively looking. Some people take advantage of these situations to get free sex. I’ve shot several couples who met through dating services and they seem to be ok but then I’ve also heard of horror stories like people getting beaten up or even murdered. Make sure you know the person before agreeing to marry specially if he’s from another country.

e. Blind dates – Basically the same as any kind of dating, exercise caution. Make sure that the person setting you up knows the kind of mate you are looking for. Ask how well they know this person. Do the date with a group and then allow things to unfold on its own. Do not manipulate! Go to public places like get coffee after church. Go light! A blind date is just a beginning. It does not have to be dinner and roses.

4. Don’t trust your instincts

Use your brain! The heart can be blinded.
Constantly assess the other person. Are you compatible? Don’t convince yourself that he’s Mr. Right when he’s only Mr. Available.

5. Go slow

Be patient. You may get hurt so don’t rush it. Don’t give up. There are good men out there. Active waiting has its merits.

6. Learn

Learn from past mistakes. You are half-way to Mr. RIGHT by seeing what you have done wrong in the past. You cannot correct something you did not realize was wrong. We all fail and make mistakes. Don’t worry, God is very forgiving, just allow Him to change us.
Never under estimate the power of prayer. Sometimes God doesn’t give you one because he knows you can’t handle it yet. Sometimes there’s still something God wants you to undergo. Bible says “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
Hitting 40? Don’t worry… In God’s perfect time he will give you the desires of your heart.Furthermore, Matthew 7:7 says “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Pray and expect it… Be ready you never know when God will answer your prayers.