Happy Wife, Happy Life
This statement is often used as one of the advices for couples who just tied the knot. When you hear this statement, it sounds right. I asked my husband why most men give this advice to the groom, and here is what this advice is not about.
a. .It does not mean that Husbands should agree with their wives at all times, so they wont have to argue.
b. It does not mean giving the wife whatever she wants so she can stop nagging the husband.
c. This also does not mean having a passive husband.
Don’t get me wrong. We wives love to be spoiled by our spouse. But being spoiled does not mean that the result is a happy wife. Here is my definition of a happy wife. A happy wife is someone who understands her role in the marriage and fulfills it!
So for those who missed the talk and those that are asking notes on the Happy Wife, Happy Life talk in ExpoMom, Here is what a Happy Wife looks like:
H – ELPMATE/ HOME Manager
The big H begins with understanding what our role entails to be a happy wife. We are to be helpmate or a “life giver” of our husbands. We choose to be their side kick in everything. We are a team. But as he takes the lead, you handle the fort – the Home. You make sure your house is in order and is a place where you would want to come home to.
We wives nag about what we don’t like about our spouse. But the truth is, we are very “tipid” when it comes to counting what we appreciate about our husband. We also need to notice our husband not in the big things but in the small ones too. When he does the grocery for us, picks up the kids, takes care of the kids so you can go have a girls night out, aren’t you thankful? When he takes home food on the way home or texts you his itinerary and informs you whats going on with him during the day – be grateful for these small gestures. When there are date nights or when he listens to your world concern of what ifs and what nots – do not neglect his deeds. When your husband does his role in the marriage by leading, loving and providing and protecting, give him your innermost appreciation. Have you appreciated your husband today?
P – RAISE
What comes out of our mouth could kill or build. A woman who praises – is a positive woman. She sees the problem but she sees the goodness out of that problem. SHE CAN PRAISE THROUGH A STORM. She knows how to give credit where it is due. She is always joyful in anything.
A woman who prays knows where her inner strength comes from. Only God can give a wife grace to respect and love her husband. To be his best friend and helpmate, her secret weapon is her prayer life. That’s why she can balanceher mommy duties, wife duties, friend duties, employee duties all rolled into one. When things seems uncertain, when the bills are high or when the kids are sick, when the promotions seems long – she can always get down on her knees to pray. Prayer is so powerful that’s why there is a book called power of the praying wife. WHEN WE ARE CONNECTED TO THE MAKER OF MARRIAGE- when you invite God to be part of your marriage, you can find joy that no one can steal. Do you pray for your spouse? Do you bless and cover them with unceasing prayer?
Y – IELD
To yield means to submit. This is a word that most women struggle with. They think there is a power struggle when the truth is they have the power to bring out the best in others. When we yield, we empower our husbands to be the best leader they can be to us. When we yield, we get the full benefits. When our husband wins we win as well. When we yield to our husband we ultimately yield to God. Its like saying God I trust that you are in full control of our family and that you have the best plans for us!
L-AUGH OUT LOUD
Laughing is good for the heart. In our family we encourage laughing at anything and everything. We reminisce on our silly experiences even the funniest things or statements we have done. Laughing brings out happiness and joy. So we go for that adventure. We want to remember good times and not always the bad. In fact my husband and I really laugh a lot. We have a lot of bloopers and we love to crack out jokes. Its something that makes us stick together even more because we become good medicines to each other. All it takes is one good funny memory and we shake out the bad day – Literally!
Women who can inspire others, refreshes her self as well. I have learned to stop looking at me. I want to take away the “Woe is me” statements. I have heard women say this often: “Im JUST a stay at home mom. I am aging and I am wasting my prime years away from not pursuing a career”. Here is my tip, embrace this season of your life. I took paths without making excuses. I homeschool and go all out and along the way, I have persuaded so many other moms to homeschool because I have inspired them. With my children, I am busy building their dreams. If my daughter or son wants to be an artist – we go all out to get them there. I became a breastfeeding advocate because I chose not to be a failure anymore. I failed in breastfeeding with my first 2 children because no one taught, and encouraged me that I can do it. When I realized that God has empowered me to be able to breastfeed, I chose to not make excuses and not give up. Now, I am encouraging other moms to never give up in giving the best God-given food to their babies. I am able to serve God, with the talents that God has given me. I can write, host, direct and organize. I show other women and other moms that it doesn’t have to be a pity party. We do things to please God and inspire others. When I see other women that they can: breastfeed, they can homeschool, they can love their husbands – I am refreshed back by it.
Not everything has to be serious. My kids laugh at me at how animated I am. I dance to get them to move from one place to another, I sing to convince them to bathe. We make everything fun. Yes there are days for discipline and for order, but if you can find the balance to make fixing and doing chores like a game with reward system, then why not do it? It makes it a happier home. You can have Fun everywhere: in the shower, in doing assignments, in cooking and even in chores.
When I think of a happy wife, she is a busy home maker/ manager / entrepreneur. I tell most people, if you want to have a business idea – ask the moms. They notice everything. Just in the Expomom – you can find what are you looking for and what you have not even thought of. A great wife is not an ATM sucking machine, she knows how to multiply what is given to her. She knows the best deals, the greatest bargains. God has also given us talent to produce and help our husbands.