This is our 4th and last day in Singapore, and finally i get some “ME” time as my wife has gone to the museum with Jamie (something I’m not really a fan about) and so I just went to the gym instead. I go back to room and finding her gone made me miss her so much. At this moment I remember how things were 8 years ago when I was already sick & tired of our relationship and was just waiting for her to let go. I was womanizing left and right, I wasn’t going home, sex was bad, I didn’t care about the kids nor our business and if you looked at it from an outside perspective — it was a really hopeless relationship and everyone was just telling Monique to give up. Now I’m thinking — what if I had not gone to church? what if I had not allowed the Holy spirit to transform me? what if Monique listened to everyone and just left and called it quits? I would probably not be one of the happiest husband and dad alive right now.
Allow me to brag for now then I’ll justify it in the end why I had to do it…
But in not just one or two occasion, people have told me how blessed I was. That I got it all. That they would gladly exchange places with me anytime. I have a beautiful wife. I have 5 lovely well-disciplined kids. I’m not rich but I have a well oiled running business that provides. I get to travel more often than the average. I have God and we are very happy. Even when we have nothing — we feel complete.
Whenever I get compliments like these I just smile and laugh inside. These people don’t know what I’ve been through and probably if they did, I don’t know if they’d still feel the same way.
- My dad left me when i was 11.
- When I was 13 years old, my dad caught me in bed with another 13 year old in bed. The girl died when she was about 20 due to drug over dose.
- First time I got sued was grade 7 for theft. The next time was 1st year high school for Physical Injury.
- First time to experience being detained in Jail when I was 16 years old in Ermita.
- I was kicked out of 2nd year high school for drug pushing and no school would accept me except Arellano.
- I was kicked out year after year in high school and I guess that is what gave me my PR skills.
- In 4th year HS I had to miss half of the year because of gang wars.
- I had to work during college so I could pay for my college tuition fee.
- For my first business, at age 18 my grandfather loaned me 300k. it was down to 30k in less than a year.
- I’ve never had a relationship that lasted one year.
- I got married at age 27 and separated a year later.
- It took me 9 years to finish college.
- I was actually an absentee dad for the first years of Jazz, Sabrina & Matthew.
- I didn’t have an idea on what it is to be a good husband and dad.
- I was lost and didn’t believe God existed till 7 years ago.
- I thought sex and love was the same thing because I never knew what real love was.
Does this sound like something you’d want to go through? If you’re a girl, take a look at what Monique had to go through… 7 years of waiting not knowing if I’ll ever change or not and just being bombarded by rumors about the different girls being linked to me (most of them weren’t actually rumors). Would you want that?
So next time you compare yourself to someone you admire and wish you’d be like him. Don’t just see him or her for where he is now but check also see the journey they had to go through for them to be where they are. These are things you can’t just can’t ignore. They are there because they were willing to pay the price.
The bible says “Glory in your suffering because suffering produces perseverance. Perseverance produces character. And character, hope.” Romans 5:3-4
You will have your own journey… and eventually the journey will be hard and you will be asked the question “Are you willing to pay the price?”. So many people weren’t and they missed out on what God had in stored for them. Many of them still live miserable lives now or at least living not to their full potential. Some of them live in denial and don’t admit that there’s still something missing. Then, there are a few who did pay they price and they are now enjoying God’s promises and fully living.
Thank you Monique for never giving up on me. Our story will forever continue to amaze me because I remember “I already gave up on myself but you didn’t” and that is the Light that God used to see me through what I consider the darkest moment of my life… and you know what was worse? I WAS LOST AND I DIDN”T KNOW I WAS LOST! I’m so glad I paid the price and stuck it out even when it wasn’t convenient, even when it wasn’t easy, even when it wasn’t my nature to do so! It was well worth it. I am glad I don’t have to be sorry and ask “What if… What if… What if….” but instead I say “Who would have thought….” and these are realizations that make you believe in God even more because its only by His power, only by His Grace that hopeless miserable sick people like me get to change and be given 2nd chances in life and again, I’m so glad I paid the price!