John has written in the blog for the past weeks of our dry season. If you are an entrepreneur like us, you know this very well that monthly battle of paying taxes, keeping up operations and paying salaries while we wait for delayed payments by clients are just a few of the many things we cycle in. Every business gets its highs and lows and drafting to the 2nd half of the year, we are walking on a scorching dry famine of sorts.
If you are going through a low moment in your life, maybe going through some hardships: financially, a health scare, a career slump or a relationship strain, I wrote this for you. You can still find joy in life’s stretching. I want to share how to appreciate this season and still bring out the best in your spouse during trying times.
When things are not in its normal state – learn to embrace the word ADJUST. Adjust your lifestyle. Its useless going through a time of denial and a time of depression – the moment requires you to adjust. Some adjustments may hurt. It may require a change of eating habits, learning to tighten your budgets, it may mean swallowing your pride and a whole new mindset change. As you are adjusting remember that in general “nothing is forever” and that if you learn to cope, you will find it easier to be in this state. I have learned to understand that this time means I would have to re-prioritize certain things. But I choose not to make a big deal about it. I already know that this is also a stage where my husband is also adjusting, I don’t want to burden him by reminding him that things are not in its normal state. He knows it. Without him asking me to do anything, I am doing my part: working on a budget and stretching what we have to make it as comfortable as possible.
I also learned that this is not the best of times to wallow in self-pity or swim in the lows of life. It won’t add a day to my life or improve my marriage. So I choose to FOCUS on how to get out of this situation. If you are feeling something, go to a doctor and have a check up immediately. I am a believer in early detection as key to a healthier self. If you are going through financial problems – learn to cut your losses and rework your budgets, sell what you can, earn as much as you can to get out of debt. This will eventually come to pass. I love sitting with my husband in a crisis meeting. You know the situation is tough, but there is no time to sob – we talk about real solutions on how we can stir the boat to get out of the storm kinda meetings. It’s a beautiful thing to be able to brainstorm and plan – because this gives us direction and focus on what our next steps will be. You should try it. Facing the problem is the first step to solving it.
Just like any season it can also be a long one. Some things you are doing to weather the storm may not necessarily stop the storm. So when the storm is hitting you hard, here is a good time to practice your part in the marriage, which is to be a LIFEGIVER. We must practice to grumble and complain less and encourage your spouse more. I really try my very best to practice holding my tongue. If you have nothing good to say – say nothing. Don’t stress your marriage with your nagging, negative thoughts and your emotional stabbings. Instead channel every small victory into celebration of praise. I am sure my husband is also tired. Storms are nasty, it will keep you thinking and will make you do more work but your words of encouragement are their breath of fresh air. I don’t want to be too serious instead I choose to make light of things. Everyone needs a little relief so just keep giving him a positive push: “You can do it.”, “It looks like things are getting better.”, “We’re in this together – don’t worry!”. When you speak life to your husband, you will see a whole different perspective in your situation.
Lastly, Pray and Praise God for the storms in your life. When you welcome tough situations, you allow God to mold your character. When you walk through these experiences you realize you are never alone. God makes his presence felt. Seasons like this, makes me cling to Jesus more. I know that I cannot do it on my own, I need my Savior to see me through. I also remind myself, seasons like this is good for me. I learn to appreciate what I have rather than focus on what I don’t have. I have a healthy family, a loving husband, food on the table and I am alive – now, I know that I am blessed.
Thank you for this season, Lord.
It is tough and painful but it is full of grace.
I will wait upon you even when things get harder,
Holding on to your embrace.
For every hurdle just makes me stronger
And In everything that I go through I give you Praise.
You, O God, are awesome even in the storm.
Mold me each day into your form.
Teach me to treasure moments like this Because it teaches me what real blessing is.